Wow! Every year Mother’s Day is a difficult time for me. Walk through any area where they sell cards and I cannot stop and look. When my Mother was alive, I would spend many long moments, reading, looking, feeling inside what the written words meant to me, then I would know what they would mean to her.
Growing up, is always difficult for children. You think moms won’t let you do anything YOU want to do, go where YOU want to go or even think what YOU want to think. ‘Tis true!
I am now a Grandby held in wonderful esteem with my grandchildren, hopefully my ‘step’ children – all adults now, and, of course, my beautiful daughter. She always thought her Mom was smartest until the teachers made me tell her I wasn’t. Since that day…life changed…for me.
It has taken growing up for her to get to truly understanding what her ‘old mom’ was trying to accomplish for her. Wanting her to be smarter (she is), sometimes wiser, independent – on this note I went too far…..she doesn’t know when or how to ask for assistance. but would give the shirt off her back for her friends and, I am happy to say, would fight anyone who said ANYTHING wrong about me (except her of course). This is normal, I know.
Now travelling back to 2005, my Mom passed away. Since then: I have felt anger, numbness, feeling like an orphan, tears flowing at nothing and everything….I would give anything to hear her voice, touch her hand, comment on her beautiful white hair or the outfit she would be wearing.
Yeah Mom…I like you, I didn’t like you at times, but I always, always, LOVED you. I miss you now as much as I did back in 2005 when I realized we couldn’t talk anymore. May you now be at rest and in peace.
To you, Mom especially, and to all Mother’s and Mother’s to be…have a WONDERFUL DAY when and where you can. Enjoy the ride ‘cuz it does come with bumps and bruises but the rewards are spirit warming. I know, I wouldn’t trade one second of my life with my daughter, extended children in our family and my beautiful grandchildren. Thank you God, I, for one, am truly blessed.
